We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
