She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
please don't ironically join a cult
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