I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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