Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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