dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
