hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
