I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize