The maid of honor just puked.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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