i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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