Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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