the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
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