no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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