normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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