Umm I'm too high to move.
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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