thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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