Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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