Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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