Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
