I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
