I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
