he referred to my room as the tit cave...
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
