i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i dont even know how to be here
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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