Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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