lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
