is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
