Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
We are all done wearing pants today
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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