I could make wine with my vomit
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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