i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
