I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
