what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
