I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
