yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
