then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
