I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
