he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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