When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
