dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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