I CAN MOONWALK!
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
