That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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