I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
