If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Randomize
