Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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