Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
