Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
