I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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