I heard we made out
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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