The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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