he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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