dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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