covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
